‘I don’t know if this is for me anymore,’ she said. ‘I used to have more.’ We were on our way to an event and didn’t have much time in between. She glared over at me and added, ‘I feel lost and confused, is this for me? Is this where I’m supposed to be?’
She was lost and so were we.
We were on our way to an event but it was pouring rain and we could barely see anything. We made the wrong turn and the conversation got lost. As it did we realized we were at a dead end. ‘Yup, this is not the place,’ I thought. The street was empty and the stores looked like they had been closed for a century, you could see the wooden boards nailed to the side of the buildings. ‘We’re okay, I’m sure it’s just a couple more blocks and right up this way,’ I tried to reassure her. I opened my GPS and tried to check the route. ‘Ah! It looks like if we walk just two more blocks it should be on the left.’
She continued, “It’s not that I’m not happy I’m just questioning my life, ‘did I go backwards? Should I be further along?’ I was the boss. I had my own office, now I don’t.”
I didn’t get a chance to say anything because just then the road split and we ended up on opposite sides of the sidewalk; her on the street level, and me near the parked cars. ‘Hold on, brb,’ I joked. I waited for the line of tightly parked cars to stop and made my way back to her, ‘so you were saying?’ She stopped. ‘I’ll be okay, I guess things will just take time.’ We turned left and a lady sitting by the door greeted us, ‘welcome!’ She grabbed our coat and escorted us to the top of the stairs. It was a mellow event, a bit stuffy and you could see people shivering from the rain.
As we grabbed some hors d’oeuvres, she disappeared. She didn’t want to be here. I could sense it. In the weeks that followed I met several others who were feeling the same way, ‘they used to have more; more money, more property, more connections, more roles’ but now they felt limited as things had been taken away.
Sometimes we take a step back so we can lunge forward and learn from our past, ‘no matter how low you think you have been pulled, sometimes there is something down there you need to find in order to move forward. You can’t always correct the things that have been done but you can walk ahead and learn to do better.
No matter how bare you become or how hard it is to understand that there is a reason for everything, you have to remember: you are not measured by the wealth you acquire on the outside, but by the joy you experience within.